And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize