Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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