therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
