When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no you cant smoke seaweed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
