Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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