He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
