How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
