I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
