grandma shit on top of the toilet
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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