he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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