I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
