what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
