NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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