how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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