Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
