They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
