woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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