oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
