I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
