I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
