glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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