She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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