I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
