can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
