Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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