what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
