Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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