Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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