Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
