Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
third nipple confirmed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
