My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
