im drinking this country out of the recession.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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