She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
