my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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