I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
