I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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