If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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