He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
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She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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