I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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