so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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