I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize