I skipped work to stalk him.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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