I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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