if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
