This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
