i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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