I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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