I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
