why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
how drunk are you?
Several
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
