apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
