Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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