There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as a side note pls kill me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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