Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
