Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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