Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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