these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
