I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
