dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
